Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
porn star boner night. come get it.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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