I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
