Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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