im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
