so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
