therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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