I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
