I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
