You're a womanizer and a bitch.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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