Buhtt sex?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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