a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
