How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
