did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
