Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
