Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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