just tell him i said nine months
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
