her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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