I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
