Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
