I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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