Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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