i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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