why didn't you poke me back
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
