Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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