do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize