By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
my liver is dry heaving
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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