im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
