Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
