Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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