White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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