I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I am spending my child support on dildos
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
