Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
