dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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