So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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