Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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