How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
