Nicole vs. Life
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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