he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
