It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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