So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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