I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize