doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
