He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
