Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
