Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
