What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
