I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
