If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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