If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Randomize
