The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
