dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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