using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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