Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
