I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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