you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
