Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
